Never say I didn't warn you.

Recently, while on a binge-perusal of Post Secrets, I came across one with a picture of Mr. Rogers. The writing said "You never prepared me for how cruel the world can be."

This sparked a brilliant idea. What if there was a children's show that did just that? One that prepared children for the twists and turns that are inevitable parts of life, a show where the host informed youngsters of the harsh realities of the adult world. Just imagine. I immediately began formulating a list of show topics in my brain.

Episode One: Car Accidents
Episodes Two and Three: Credit Card and Student Loan Debt
Episode Four: When your boyfriend cheats
Episode Five: Unemployment
Episode Six: Health Insurance.

The options are really limitless. We've all had those moments, where you just want to yell at your parents, your teachers, anyone. YOU NEVER TOLD ME IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS. This show, while brutal and will most likely reduce viewers to tears, will solve that problem. Children will graduate pre-school well-versed in relevant topics, such as the housing crisis, war in the Middle East, and dependence on foreign oil.

Come on PBS, what do you say? Instead of having that damned trolley lead to the land of make believe, let's give those kids a nice dose of reality.

Please leave suggested titles for the program in the comments section.

Confessions of a summer intern, part 1

If you've ever met me, I've probably kvetched senselessly to you at one point or another about the pitfalls of summer internships. The chief complaint being that this summer, I hemorrhaged money paying for transportation and other necessities to maintain an unpaid internship, which a lot of the time, wasn't worth the time and money spent. That, and they spelled my name wrong on the masthead. Yeah, my first name. The one that follows the most traditional spelling of a name that has been around for, oh, you know, centuries. But I should remember my place. I am, after all, a lowly intern, and in fact, am lucky to have a name at all.

In all seriousness though, my summer internship wasn't all that bad. I left with a couple of clips (sort of, that's still pending), and a few lines of credibility added to my resume. And most of all, I was grateful for the experience after reading this: The Story of The Pooping Intern.

And I thought it was embarrassing when I spilled salad dressing all over myself. That's mere child's play.

(Note: Details of the poop story have been called into question, but one thing is for sure: the intern pooped in areas of the office other than the bathroom, and that's all that matters, really.)

On a related note, reading this story on Gawker renewed my passion for the publishing industry. The fact that someone got to write that headline, and the lines "This poop story is truly nightmarish," or "Pooping intern: We salute your courage." If one day I can write things like that, and get paid for it, maybe I'm on the right path after all.