People, People who Need People

It's no secret that I am a top-tier people watcher. If people watching/creeping could be a profession, I would be the highest earner in my field. With a quick glance at a passerby, I can tell you their eye color, height, clothing, posture, and assess their general emotional disposition. I am also able to tell where women are in their ovulation cycle and estimate the rate of facial hair growth in most men.

You know you want to be me.

This last week of people watching though, it was particularly fruitful. On Monday, I saw a boy in a penguin costume go sprinting from the student center. This was two days before Halloween, so it's not out of the question that he was in costume. But the running? In a penguin costume? I can't even make these things up.

During my academic advising, I noticed a scale hidden against the wall in my adviser's office. Now, why would a person keep a scale in the office? How frequently are you weighing yourself, exactly? Do people know that you do this? What happens if you weigh more than last time? Do other people use this scale? Does the clock chime at a certain hour, and all of the public affairs department participates in a weigh-in? Do you have an eating disorder? Are you on weight watchers? Are you happy or unhappy? Is that scale electronic, or does it have the analog dial?

Do you realize how I suffer? ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS. I struggled to maintain my composure and answer her questions about what classes I plan to take next semester. How dare you ask me these things when all I want to do is step on the scale with you.

Lastly, while enjoying coffee on the steps of Hendricks, a cluster of Asian men, dressed in business suits gathered in front of the building and began rapidly taking pictures. *Insert politically incorrect joke here* My courses at college beat you over the head with the effects of rampant prejudices and the danger of believing in stereotypes. I am well aware of all of this, but was stricken by the hilarity of this moment. What else am I supposed to do when one of the most hackneyed stereotypes is playing out right in front of me?

But I do go to a school that serves fried chicken and collard greens at the annual Martin Luther King Jr. dinner, so I guess this sort of thing is to be expected.