Ray, a drop of golden sun.

This dear fellow and two of his friends stopped by three times for a jaunt through our yard today. My mother promptly declared the triumvirate "too skinny," and rummaged for food to give them. I gave her a lecture about setting limits for her maternal instincts. She said she would get rid of the stale bread and potato skins, but I later saw her scattering them outside anyway.

Why oh Wyoming

It’s internship season. Many college students look at this as a time filled with anxiety, self-doubt, frustration, and fear and, oh, blinding anger at the Establishment. I’ve already spent countless hours researching companies, re-reading my resume and desperately searching for an updated HR contact to whom my cover letter should be addressed.

You’d think this was some marathon exercise that would end in my appointment as the CEO of a billion-dollar company. Alas, this is the process that we go through in order to secure an UNPAID INTERNSHIP. That’s right. Internships offer no guarantees; they may or may not be a learning experience, but almost certainly will not result in a pay check of any kind. It will, however, most likely result in headaches, humiliation and coffee runs at some point or another.

So I’m rebelling. I started thinking about what I really want to do, what kind of writing really compels, inspires and delights me. I concluded that these things are usually blogs. I am addicted to several blogs written by complete strangers, and I read them religiously. I have developed a tendency worry about the author’s personal struggles more than my own.

The hilariousness of applying for an “internship” with an independent blogger tickles my funny bone, because, well, let’s really consider what we’re asking…

The following is a hypothetical cover letter to the writer one of my newest infatuations, The Daily Coyote.

Dear Shreve Stockton

I have a proposition. I am a devoted reader of your blog and would be thrilled to intern with you this summer. My research indicates there is no established internship program at The Daily Coyote, but I am confident that my blog-reading and stalker skills would urge you to consider taking me on as an intern.

I believe in your company, and would be happy to offer my time and labor to aid its further development. Granted, you live in rural Wyoming, miles away from civilization. This would require a leap of faith on your part—to take me on not only as an intern but also a houseguest. In fact, I am propositioning you as much for friendship as for a job opportunity. I am clean, make a good cup of coffee, and would be happy to help with taking care of your coyote.

I’ve attached a resumé and writing samples. I would be delighted to hear from you. Please don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions.

Sincerely

Catherine

Music of the heart

Hillary Clinton is pouring herself a cup of ambition. Senator Clinton, battling to regain lost ground in Ohio's March 4 primary, is using Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" as her campaign song while she traipses hopefully through the blue-collar state. This inspired me to take a look at other campaign songs used by Clinton and Obama and declare a favorite through entirely subjective, non-evidence based assessment.

DISCLAIMER: This exercise is for fun and entertainment purposes only. I did not vote in the Massachusetts primary using this rubric, nor will it affect any vote I cast in the November contest.

HILLARY CLINTON

9 TO 5- Dolly Parton- If you know me, you've probably heard me sing/scream this song at the top of my lungs. Seems like a good choice for Ohio, as Hills tries to win over middle-class workers. It's upbeat and seems like the exact opposite of anything Sen. Clinton would ever listen to, but that's part of the fun! I'd like to see Dolly come out and strut on stage, just so I can watch Hill awkwardly sway in the background.

You and I- Celine Dion. If I really was basing my vote on campaign songs, this choice would make it really hard not to vote for Hills. Anyone who knows and appreciates the depths and beauty of a Celine Dion ballad is someone that I know could conquer any problem that befalls her in the Oval Office. I'll admit though, for a presidential campaign song, these lyrics are a wee bit odd and melodramatic. But that is inherent in all things Celine, and if my girl Hillary is down with that, so am I. And? If Hillary ever needs any emergency management advice, Celine has a lot to offer. (Note: This song was chosen by Clinton's supporters in a poll on her official Web site, so it's apparently what Clintonites want to hear.)

Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic- The Police. This song is an absolute downgrade. It is lyrically distant from anything that relates to the presidential process, but more importantly, it contains the lyrics "Every thing she does just turns me on." No, H-Money, please spare me. I don't want to think about anyone or anything turning you on. Ever. This song was chosen also by the her followers in the poll at HillaryClinton.com, however, so maybe there's a Hillary fetish voting niche that I don't know about.


BARACK OBAMA

Sign, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours- Stevie Wonder. This is a fun, upbeat song, and it's fun to picture Sen. Obama bopping along to it with Michelle. But to me, this will always be the Dancing Raisins song. I can't get on board with it, and I'd like the senator to consider other options. (Suggestion: "Spice Up Your Life")

Better Way- Ben Harper- I enjoy Ben Harper, and he is an appealing choice for the youth vote. The lyrics are a perfect complement to Obama's "Yes we can" campaign. My only complaint is that the vocals for this particular song have sound effects laid over them, and the song can sound slightly morose. May not energize a crowd, for that I recommend Harper's "Steal My Kisses." It would be hilarious. Just once, for me, Barack?

Yes we Can- feat. Will.I.Am and a buttload of celebrities. This video is the absolute bomb diggity. It features singers and actors singing or saying parts of Obama's speeches, particularly the "Yes we can" mantra. It features hotties like Kate Walsh and John Legend simultaneously speaking out AND rocking out. This video gets a double gold star because it heavily features The Fresh Prince of Bel Air's Tatiana Ali (who played Ashley Banks). But can someone explain why Scarlett Johanson always looks so pensive, and moves her mouth without sound coming out? It's alarming. And the chanting at the end is a little cult-ish. I get lost there. But overall, I think this video is a perfect summary of the Obama campaign and one that truly inspires interest and faith in a new presidency in '08.

The winner?

My vote for best campaign music is Hillary Clinton. Partly because it seems odd to associate Hillary with any music other than gentle NPR Sunday jazz, so every song is sort of a pleasantly humorous surprise. But mostly because Celine Dion trumps everything. That is a rule that guides my life, and I hope you don't judge me too harshly for it.

So, if Hillary's campaign ends up going the way of the Dodo, I demand that someone compile a "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" montage video, in which Hillary recalls the steps and mistakes that led to her downfall. Then, and only then, can I die happy.

A week in doodles.

This week was long and hard. Nothing terrible, just one of those weeks when a lot of little things go wrong and by the end, you want to crawl in bed and never get out. These doodles are the result of two particularly frustrating days. The first, Monday, is an artistic rendering of my walking path that day. I only had one class, and Mondays are usually great days for that reason. I study in the library for a little while, work at a relaxed pace and go to my only class at 3:45. This past Monday began with a 3-mile round-trip walk downtown to tutor at a school that turned out to be closed for Winter Break. My bad luck continued.

(Click to view full size)


The second is a doodle I drew on Thursday. By that time, I had hit a major roadblock with internships, had the most work of the semester, and endured several catastrophes related to group projects. I guess the grayness of Syracuse (aka The Doldrums) was getting me down, and I drew this as I nursed a cup of tea in Schine waiting for my next class.

It's okay if you think I'm crazy

I'm stressed and overwhelmed, and there are 1,873,936,331 other things I should be doing right now. Intead I am blogging to relieve some stress. Here's a list I've been thinking about for a while.

TOP 10 CELEBRITIES I WOULD INAPPROPRIATELY HUG IF I RAN INTO THEM ON THE STREET

1. Jo Frost. For those unfamiliar, she is better known as Supernanny. There is something special about the way this woman takes charge and brings comfort, strength and happiness back to families with her signature ease and charm. I know if I spent 10 minutes with her she would have my life all straightened out.
   
2. Morgan Freeman. I love this man. I love his wise, burning eyes and the ease with which he will say something very inappropriate but it will come out sounding like the finest compliment you've ever been paid. Note to self: Don't hug Morgan too fervently, he's old.
   
3. Natalie Portman. How can you not love this girl? She gives hope to young women everywhere that it's possible to be outrageously intelligent, but also successful and ridiculously attractive. I think Natalie would probably not like it very much if I hugged her, but she is so tiny and would fit nicely in my lumbering, burly arms.
   
4. Peter Jennings. Peter left us years ago, but my affection for him lives on stronger than ever. I'll get you in Heaven, Peter. Wait for me at the gates.
   
5. Penelope Cruz. I love her accent, and that her family's nickname for her is "Pene," which is Spanish for a discrete part of the male anatomy. If you catch my drift. You must appreciate a lady who puts up with such foolishness. She makes me laugh for no reason and I feel an odd compulsion to bake for her and brush my fingers through her hair. (Please do not judge me)
   
6. Celine Dion. I don't need to explain this one. But if the videos I've seen lately, which show Celine as having LOST HER MARBLES, are any indication, I think she would probably hug me back. And maybe kiss me on the neck. Which, for the record, I would not enjoy.
   
7. Tom Hanks. He is the gentlest, most good-natured man ever. If my child was in peril, I would ask Tom Hanks for help. And he would help me because he is that nice of a man. Then I would hug him and hold him close until he confessed that wewere even more like peas and carrots than Forrest and Jenny were.
   
8. Richard Gere. Unfaithful, anyone? Runaway Bride? I love his crinkly eyes and formerly-premature gray hair. We would go out for drinks in an entirely platonic way and at the end of the night I would bury my face in the folds of his pea coat.
   
9. Gregory Smith. He played Ephram on the WB's cancelled "Everwood" (best show ever). He perfected the nervous, quirky smart boy act and every girl with half a brain wanted Ephram to love her, even if he was being a pompous ass most of the time.
   
10. Britney Spears. A hug from me may be the last thing to save this girl. I would grab her and hold her close, swaying my hips violently and rubbing her back until she broke down sobbing and promised to let me help her. I hope I am taller than Britney Spears, otherwise this will be awkward.