A new feature on Catherine the Greatest! Let's face it kiddoes, the average American twentysomething has been a little slow out of the gate. We've not exactly joined the race to the top as quickly or efficiently as those who came before us. Some are still waiting on that masters, that first "real" job, and our student loan lenders own large portions of our souls. However, let's focus on the bright side. Overall, we're pretty lucky. We are well-educated, some of us have jobs we really like, and a lot of our parents welcomed us back into their basements with open arms. So what if we don't own property, have health insurance or um, money for lunch?
Which brings me to today's topic:
How to Act Like a Miser At The Salad Bar, But Still Get a Really Great Lunch
We've all been there. Lunch rolls around--you're stomach is rumbling but you have budget on the brain. Is there anything you can buy for a quarter and some pocket lint? Is the melted gum at the bottom of your purse legal tender? Is bartering a thing anymore, and if not, can you bring it back?
The outlook is grim, young pauper, but I have a solution. Head to your local salad bar. I hear you when you say, "But Catherine, those things can run six or seven bucks a pound!" I know, I know, but stick with me.
The trick is to make your salad up of all of the salad bar's lightest ingredients. These things are sold by weight after all, and the less of it there is, the more money you have for moonshine and tobacco.
Fill your salad container to the brim with baby spinach.Grated carrots and mushrooms are similarly weightless. A few thin slices of bell papers will get you Vitamin C, and add some bulk to the meal without adding too much cost. Dried cranberries and sliced almonds are also fairly light. Some sprinkled feta will only cost a few cents. Steer clear of heavy pickled beets, boiled eggs, and meats.That costs money, and you don't have much.
When it comes to dressing, use it sparingly. If you have the option of grabbing packets, do so. Sometimes I hold them in my hand at checkout and dare the cashier to ask me to let her weigh them. I almost always win the stare down, and save a few cents by keeping them off the scale.
I am so skilled at making nutrient-packed delicious salads that barely weigh a thing, that once the cashier thought the scale had broken; because how could such an amazing creation cost $3.06? What she didn't know is that the average young professional pauper is determined, crafty and truly knows how to stretch a dollar. Let's embrace it everyone. Let's get rid of those nicknames the media gave us--boomerang generation, generation whine--and all try to be somebody Dickens would be proud of.
5 comments:
That may have been the best blog post ever.
Brilliant! You are now live on my FB page. And I went and ate a salad right afterwards.
Just let me say that Benja's comment was removed because, like me, Benja thought that the comment was only posted once. That idea has been squelched my James, and me now, too. Twice, maybe trice.
But the important thing for all paupers to remember is that they have you, Pauper Ltd to protect them. Cheers, guv'nr.
Have you informed your public that paupers moonlight as chimney-sweeps?
Just let me say that Benja's comment was removed because, like me, Benja thought that the comment was only posted once. That idea has been squelched my James, and me now, too. Twice, maybe trice.
But the important thing for all paupers to remember is that they have you, Pauper Ltd to protect them. Cheers, guv'nr.
Have you informed your public that paupers moonlight as chimney-sweeps?
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