The Big E

Going to a state fair is like time traveling. You're transported to an era of simpler pleasures--funnel cakes, talent shows, and really, really heavy hogs.

A couple of weeks ago, we headed to the Eastern States Exhibition in Springfield, a yearly event where exhibitors from all over New England come to peddle their wares. And sure-I could tell you about the handy tourist pamphlets we picked up, or the truly impressive sea lion show we saw (those sea lions wiggle their butts EXACTLY IN TUNE WITH SIR MIXALOT'S BEATS), but I think the story of the Big E is one better told through photographs.

1) The Maine baked potato people have been attending this fair for more than 50 years, and their excellent reputation was evidenced by the lines of people wrapped around the building waiting for these creations. A lovely group of older women assembled the potato and its toppings--sour cream, bacon bits, melted cheddar and chives with tender loving care, all while sharing little bits of their life stories with each shake of the Bacos (retired! serving potatoes for 16 years!).

These things sit heavy on your stomach, so don't plan to beeline to that shady looking ferris wheel immediately afterward.

2) What's a fair without some animals? Well, I can tell you this camel (HOMELAND AFRICA) was feeling joyful and spry that day.

Unfortunately, this other animal was not. I considered calling the Australian embassy to notify them that one of their nationals was being held hostage in a deleterious environment. The sign beside him read "Shhh, Be quiet, I'm sleeping." I was suspicious, however, because this sign appeared to be a permanent, nailed fixture in the fence post, and this kangaroo seemed a lot more like dying than sleeping. Just saying.

3) But, just around the corner, one of the world's most amazing creatures! Step right up! Step right up! One dollar to see the world's smallest horse! Of course we had to fork over a couple of Mr. George Washingtons to experience the great, wonderful Muffin!

19" inches to the shoulder! Insured for $25,000! And best of all? This horse? This horse is...

Please don't hate me if I confess that a small part of me wanted the woman manning this booth to be hauling around a really tiny horse corpse. But no... Muffin is alive, but only slightly more thrilled about life on Earth than Captain Kangaroo.

4) Animal cruelty jokes aside, there's a lot to learn at the Big E. 4H clubs have lots of information on display, and you never really know what you'll find. Alpaca tricks, sheep sheering, chick incubators. Look at this informational presentation board about canine gestation! That glob of goo turns into a cuddly puppy!

So what's your takeaway? Time traveling can be fun. Trans fats taste delicious, and a little old fashioned entertainment is a great change of pace. Furthermore, if you pay $1 to see a horse that turns out to be dead, you can make $999! (Too bad the kangaroo was not afforded the same guarantee.) At the Big E, the possibilities are truly endless.