The abysmal state of the economy, combined with my crippling lack of professional self-efficacy has led me to consider some alternative career options. Unfortunately, we are no long living in the 1800s, and many of these desirable occupations are no longer available. Nevertheless, here's a short list. Let me know what you think I'd be best at, and whether modern alternatives exist.
1) Apothecary- I frequently wax poetic about my desires to perform complex medical procedures. For some reason I thought it would be more worth my time to spend four years getting two almost worthless degrees instead of going to nursing school or something similar. So here I am, 21 years old, clutching my reporter's notebook in one hand, and an Excel spreadsheet in the other, but all I want to do is see how quickly I could perform a rudimentary appendectomy. My interest extends into all areas of medicine, and back in the days of yore, local apothecaries did everything from mixing and prescribing medications, to delivering babies and doing surgery. Heaven, is that you calling?
2. Town crier- I don't consider myself a particularly gossipy gal, but imagine how wonderful it would be to stand in the town square, dispensing the day's news and tidbits. I could perform in haiku, or take up the banjo and sing, or perhaps attempt delivering some stories in interpretive dance. In these days where no news exists anymore, and we know everything on the front page before the paper even goes to press, wouldn't it be nice to get your news the old fashioned way? That is, from a vaguely homeless looking girl with a penchant for puns and a knowing gleam in her eye?
3. Telegraph Operator - Another way for me to be all up in people's business, but also under the guise of a legitimate profession. Also, after I transmitted a message, I could save the handwritten copy for my own personal collection. Remember that time I wrote about how much I loved to read other people's mail? This is exactly like that.
3 comments:
did you ever read the Oswald Egbert diary?
it was an odd project from 5 years ago. coffee-stained pages in a leather-bound diary provided insight into the self-absorbed world of a renaissance town crier.
i'll loan it to you. a good read.
unfortunately i dont think you would have been able to hold any of these jobs as you have a vagina... such is our curse.
A town crier equivalent might be MC at some sort of cafe, and if you look to perform folk songs may i suggest woodstock ny.
Do you need to have an antiquated job? Because if an antiquated lifestyle would suffice, I think you could just marry royalty and sit around drinking tea all day.
At least that's what I would want to do.
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