Stuff You Should Know: I might die edition

It's been ages since I've put out a good edition of Stuff You Should Know. My records indicate that the last installment was way back in March, when I informed you about some treasures on the Internet. And you know, March is too long ago because I have it on good authority that at least half of my readership (1.5 persons!!!) relies solely on Catherine the Greatest for 100 percent of their news content. You can see why I start to feel really bad when I waste your time writing about hippy festivals, majestic Nabisco products, and borderline sexual assault.

So, here I am, lighting up a cigarette, furrowing my brow, and taking up my role as a modern-day Edward R. Murrow. Seriously, where would you guys be without me?

1) Um, have y'all been keeping up with this Mexican drug cartel business? Shit's whack. NPR is obsessed with it, and it's also all over newsprint (what's that!) and TV news. 60 Minutes just ran a chilling report on the situation tonight. It's a complicated issue with a lot of gritty details, but I did want to draw your attention to one point. Crackdown efforts must be having some impact because reports surfaced this week that the Mexican navy seized more than a ton of cocaine that was hidden in.... wait for it... wait... 20 SHARK CARCASSES.

WHAT?!?!? Slabs of cocaine hidden in sharks. Man, if only this resource had been available to me during childhood games of "Hide the Thimble."

In many ways, I guess, this shark news is a good thing. Traffickers can no longer just ship boxes of cocaine in and around North America willy nilly, and surveillance efforts are keen enough to smell something fishy during checks in a cargo ship. But holy smokes. Can the Discovery channel include this bit of news in their next Shark Week? I need more details.

2) Onto lighter fare... It's summer time and that means TV networks are busy rolling out a bunch of new shows we probably don't want to watch. Um, hello, I have Netflix? But one show I have become obsessed with is Expedition Africa on the History Channel. It's kind of like Survivor, but if Survivor was actually about surviving, and no one gets voted off. (The shows share a creator, Mark Burnett.) The show follows four modern-day explorers who retrace the steps of Dr. David Livingstone and Henry Morton Stanley, the American journalist who went to look for him after his disappearance. Expedition's team members make the trek across Tanzania with virtually no modern comforts, and face many of the same perilous danger, exquisite beauty, and unpredictable adventure Livingstone and Stanley did more than 140 years ago. The true treat is seeing how the cast (who, with the exception of a journalist, are all expedition experts) clash and communicate with each other in the face of real survival situations. They actually know what they're talking about, and along with learning some history, the audience also gets to learn some wilderness first aid, navigation know-how, and tips about how not to get eaten by giant hippos. Don't miss this show, it stands along side Intervention and The Amazing Race as one of the three "reality" shows I can stomach.

3) So have you guys been paying attention to this moon landing business that's under way? I know, I know, it doesn't hold that same do-or-die appeal when Prez. J.Ken isn't yammering on about space races and the Russians breathing down our necks. It also lacks glamour because NASA is sending robots to do our dirty work, although I guess that's a good idea since these space crafts will be crashing into the lunar surface at 6,000 mph. That's pretty fast. Definitely more speed than my colander space helmet could withstand.

Anyway. As you probably know I'm so un-scientifically minded that I barely can wrap my pea brain around the very idea of space, but I do take special interest in NASA's efforts partly because they're pretty cool sometimes but mostly because I think they're a huge waste of money. But what strikes me about this mission is the sheer simplicity of it. I mean, heck, I could have thought this one up. They're sending up two crafts, one which will orbit the moon and generally check things out. Look for hot babes, good real estate, you know, the usual. The other one, called the LCROSS (Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Spacecraft, duh) is going to intentionally CRASH INTO THE SURFACE OF THE MOON with the intent of kicking up a lot of shit to see if any of it is water. Still hoping for water on the moon, guys? Hope springs eternal, I guess. Ugh. I feel like there should be more progress in this department by now. And I mean, I'm probably right because I slept through a whole course in astronomy and NASA calls me sometimes to ask me what I think about things. Yeah, they do.

Have you come across any new stories you feel the need to share? Unleash the burden of your knowledge in the comments section.

Pass the gravy and a copy of your 'Do Not Resuscitate' form.

I'm a dedicated reader of the New York Times health section, and lately I've noticed a bombardment of stories about end-of-life care. They even have a whole blog called "The New Old Age" about caring for elderly parents. What to do with Mom when she can't live alone. How to make sense of Dad's Alzheimer's. How to help your parents move into an old folks home when they can't sell their house in a collapsed real estate market.

But this takes the cake. Today's Boston Globe features a story about a blogging movement called Engage with Grace that encourages people to talk with their families about their what to do when their number's up. At Thanksgiving.

I don't mean to diminish the importance of this, because I think their message is certainly a good one. We should have these conversations. And it makes sense to have them when everyone is around, and there are plenty of witnesses. The death of a loved one is obviously a miserable subject, and it can be helpful to negotiate a person's wishes with several people around, who can help each other from getting too emotional. It's also important to do it before you think you need to, lest someone dies unexpectedly.

But really, guys? At Thanksgiving?

"Hi, James. How is everything at Penn State? And in the event that you are unable to speak or decide for yourself, would you prefer to die at home or in a hospital? Are you gonna have the pumpkin or apple pie?"

I think my family holidays are awkward enough, thanks. My bigger concern is with the media's obsession with these kinds of stories. Mostly leaning toward the "taking care of your parents" side of things So many sad stories to tell, but why so many right now? On one side we have the media squeezing every last saccharine drop of human interest fluff out of the Obama family (national crisis, anyone?), and everyone else is busy writing about whether euthanising your mother is appropriate.

I guess I can't catch my break. I'm already worried about never being able to find a job, buy a house, get credit, or pay off my student loan debt. This Thanksgiving, I was hoping to enjoy my day off, overeat, overdrink, and oh, I don't know. Maybe laugh. But no. You know what? I am being told to think about my death and the deaths of everyone around me. Let's just invite a lawyer along and make sure everyone's will is in order. I want to make sure that if I meet an untimely death that Kermit gets a good home, and someone makes sure to tell Celine how much I love her.

Photo courtesy of Connie.

Stuff you should know part deux

How can the day after an election be a slow news day? Obscure headline of the week: Photographer who took LBJ's swearing-in photo dies.

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And, in this week's "Stuff You Should Know" segment, I am bringing you a series of articles from the frontlines of science. 

First, magnetic portals open up every eight minutes or so and "connect" the Earth to the Sun. Those who know me know that I don't really believe in "space" and the idea of magnetism on a planetary level is just too far past my brain capacity. So you can imagine my face when I read the article.

The headline pretty much says it all: The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure. Do you think the doctors who author these studies feel a wee bit silly? 

Maybe this substantiates my in-depth eye contact and human interaction theories: Video conferencing makes it harder to make important decisions!

Baristas and Blast-Off

*UPDATE UPDATE*

Okay, so maybe the Hottie McLatte hasn't fallen in love with me yet, but today, we did make conversation and he gave me my hot chocolate for free. Am I that obvious? I had finally broken my coffee-purchasing habits, and now I'm going to have to start up again. Because, our connection? It's electric.

But moving onto more sophisticated journalistic pursuits, I bring you the first post of my new series called, Stuff You Should Know (SYSK). This segment will regale you with information I've come across that I feel compelled to share with my public.

Let's get started. I know that I've been insensitive about NASA in the past, but a recent podcast about the Columbia disaster and a man who tried to prevent it gave me the chills. Reports like this one surfaced shortly after the shuttle and its members were lost, but I'd forgotten some of the story behind it. If you have six minutes, I'd reccommend a listen. But if you don't, here's all the relevant info:

(and James, this science blog is for you)

When chief structural engineer Rodney Rocha saw the video of a piece of foam from the shuttle's external fuel tank fly off and hit Columbia's wing at 500mph, he knew something was wrong. The Shuttle launched on a Friday, and he saw the video a day later. He sent emails voicing his concerns, but it was Martin Luther King weekend, and they went unanswered until Tuesday (How can NASA take three-day weekends when there are people in a rocket ship in "space"?). He put in a special request for high resolution photos, so experts could assess the damage.

His requests were flatly denied. He drafted an e-mail to senior managers, saying the decision was dangerous and irresponsible. Afraid to breach NASA protocol, he never sent the note. A committee came to its own conclusion nine days later the damage was not significant enough to merit serious concern. Rocha says making a decision like this without photographs is like telling how bad a car accident is if you only hear it from inside your house. But at the time, standard operating procedure was that the shuttle was assumed OK unless proven otherwise. "Today that seems crazy," Rocha says.

On February 1st, Rocha watched as the shuttle broke apart after superheated gas flew into the wing upon re-entry. The shuttle shattered and the seven people in it died.

I like to think there's a moral to every story, or, erm, massive tragedy. So what does this lesson teach us, children? Trust yourselves. Rocha says he wishes he'd tried harder to get through to senior officials. "One of my regrets is that I didn't break the door down." So, my precious snow peas, don't be afraid to break those doors down!

This has been Stuff You Should Know.