Love, Mom

Last week, my loyal reader (so what if there's only one?) Meaghen sent me a web site she thought I'd enjoy and suggested I send in a submission. It is called Postcards From Yo Momma, and I must say it is my favorite new voyeuristic/Found Magazine-esque site that I've come across lately. People send in e-mails/voicemails/texts from their mothers, and we get to read them. The site generally keeps a healthy mix of endearing, hilarious, and relatable maternal correspondences. My fan base (Hi, Meaghen) also happens to be a big fan of my own mother, affectionately known as Joanne, who has been known to pen a colorful missive in her time. Today, I bring you one of her more lively notes, written this morning while she was at home making soup and tending to the men who were coldheartedly cutting down some of my favorite childhood trees.

(It should be noted that in our Jon and Kate Plus 8 fanaticism, we have taken to signing e-mails with the names of the various children.) We're okay, I swear. Here it is:

Hello, wish you were here. Here is what's going on:

The Men in Trees are branching off in many directions
Right now they ain't high in my affections
The soup''s aboil
And still they toil
Despite my spirited objections
--Anonymous
I can't believe they are only charging 500 clams for all this. Things will look very different when you get home!

Guess what's playing in the background? That's right my intuitive little gemstone - Dancing with the Stars!!!! Surprise!!!

I have to work on the soup a little bit. Can't disappoint Lester. But I shall return!

All six yiddo "I gotta pee!" Gosselins

And here is one of my favorite recent entries from Postcards from Yo Mamma. I guess it's memorable to me because it sounds like something that could easily come from the warped brain of my own dear matriarch (love you!):

I believe we have a situation going on. Roy was outside over by the fence. That new Pomeranian was barking and Roy was crying a little bit. I think he likes her! We’ve got a Roymeo and Juliet thing perhaps. She (?) had her paws up on the deck, like a balcony, calling out to him. But they are the Capulets and we are the Montagues. She’s not getting her claws into our Roy! Cheeky thing. It’s good he’s going away for the weekend so he can forget about her.

Edit: I'M HALF WAY TO MY 20 POSTS IN 30 DAYS GOAL. Huzzah!